You Just Don't Know,

You don't know how it feels like to be in my life. It's terrible most of the times. You don't want to be me.

You just don't know. You don't know what I have to go through. And when I'm typing this, my face is tear-stained. They're still flowing. Sometimes I really can't stand my life.

I have no one to talk to now. I need someone to talk to. I need you. I need you. I need you two now. I cannot stnad my life anymore. I want to die. I want to just end my fucking terrible life and stop all these miserable things in my life.

I hate it. I always get bullied. By everybody esp my sister. She always never fail to hit me and scold me and etc. I hate it. It's so fucking painful. The bruises, everything. It hurts to see people having awesome sisters, unlike me. Ouch it hurts a lot. STOP IT. JUST FUCKING STOP. ALL THE SCOLDINGS ALL THE HITTING EVERYTHING OKAY.

And each time I see you and all those I get really hurt. Because that used to be me. Used to. Hah, memories, I want to live them. Have you forgotten everything we ever had? I know I can never be like her in your heart's position, never. And I don't want to be, because I know I'll never be. But it's okay, because she's really irreplaceable, she's really amazing.

And you said if telling people everything makes me happy then fine do it, you're wrong. All I told is to Jeanny okay. Others is I really don't know how they know or people spread rumours about it wan okay. And no one said you're the bad guy, no one, not even me. [And by saying that, i'm the bad guy now]

You said don't tell people everything and all, but you yourself did. This ain't a fight. I just don't know why suddenly you can just turn into so moody and like I'm invisible. I tried making you happy but nonetheless, I failed miserably. I'm always the one trying to talk such things out. Why. Why is it always me and people kept always telling me to talk with you. It's my fault la, okay. I'm not angry or anything bytheway. I'm just saying all these out because I can't take it anymore. I hate people misunderstanding and start spreading things I don't even know it existed.

Don't tell people we're fighting okay. You said it like it's wrong to tell people. So you want me to die of depression? You know I'm sensitive and emotional. Okay fine I'll die.

And I don't hate you, I never did. In fact, I love you till I can die okay girl.

Fuckmylife, I'm so fucking stressed out by everything now. Esp EOYs are here and everything sucks. If only someone understands what I'm going through now. I don't want to bother anybody right now, because it's 12.30am. It's too late, people are mugging or sleeping or having awesome times with thier loved ones now. I don't wanna be a killjoy. I don't wanna disturbia.

Fuckmylife, the wounds hurt. Ouch. I really hate my life. Because all I can do, is just let the fucking never ending tears flow. I don't know how to stop them.

I'm still bleeding. I'm still crying.

I hate my life.