Always,

Everything below is adapted from YouTube, Sabrena lameluv, Tumblr and some other places like my brain.

All these meant some things to me and it tells the story for me. Thank you.

I feel like breaking down now.

though i'm back from camp. but who gives a fuck. when i'm back, everything seemed worse to me. and me remembering My Sister's Keeper just kills me even more inside.


"You know what hurts more than losing somebody? Seeing them around being happy without you. Going to the places you used to go to, without them. Looking back through chatlogs where you spilled your intermost secrets. Having gifts and momentos given by them around your room. But most of all, constantly thinking about how it seemed so right, just before it all came crashing down."

"Every sentence ends with a full stop. Every hello ends with goodbye. Every life ends with death. Every start there is an end. Nothing lasts forever …"

"Often we find ourselves moving on, but wanting to go backwards in time. We find comfort in what we've done in the past, and although we're enjoying the present, we can't stop thinking about how amazing the past was and how much we'd give to be able to go back. We want to make the best of now, but we just can't seem to let go of the past. I guess looking back on the past is okay, but we should never live in the past. Always make the best of today, because someday, today will become part of your past too."

"3510.) I’ve learned that the more I love someone, the less they love me. I try my hardest to not give too much, so the people I need will stick around. The truth is that my heart is trying to fall in love with you, but I’m holding on to it tight so that maybe, just maybe, you’d fall in love with me too."

Hey I saw your blogs and I feel like I'm the one who caused EVERYbody to feel blue. Because I'm feeling blue.

I had an amazing time during the camp. It gives me time to well yeah bond w everyone there and stuffs but I cried at night, alone, silently. And I used the movie we watched My Sister's Keeper as an excuse to cry, though some reasons are cause of the movie.

I cried at night because memories and stuffs were racing through my mind again and yes I miss you and you. But I wonder if you ever missed me.

Just otw home from school was stupid. My mom's car broke down at the carpark of AMK cause the battery was flat. It was my fault. I turned the key the other way (unkowingly) to have the air-con and radio on. But who knows, battery was running like mad. So yeah walked home w my mom cause it's near. And blames are everywhere. Shooting me.

Rushing home feeling really exhausted, I RAN for my phone. But disappointment just hits me all the time. :'( It's really very saddening. I made so much effort to try talking to you and stuffs but yes I know you're busy w gamings. I bet they're fun huh. But NO SARCASM HERE. But it's like... nevermind I don't know how to put it. It's just that I don't want to waste my messages anymore. Wasting them by sending messages but receiving nothing back. Yes nothing. How awesome right.

Because wasting messages is like the toptoptop of my no-no list. I hate it. It shows that you aren't bothered to just reply a single thing to me. Perhaps you do care. But it's like so unfair, no matter how tired or busy I am, I messaged and replied you and stuffs but I wasn't treated the same thing. Like how we were both fairly treated in the past. I guess time is the criminal. Time passes. And people change.

But trust me, I love you oh-so much that whole universe can't comprehend my feelings for you. Yes it's that much. I know you do love me. But sometimes, I just wonder if you really cared for me, if you really know me, if you really appreciated me, if you really loved me.

But please, do not make all of these a stupid obstacle for us to move on and progress. Because if it does, I'll just end my life.

I don't want you to feel guilty. I seriously don't. I just want you to feel happy. I've said all these because they're my feelings and thoughts but it's alright. You don't have to feel sorry and stuffs. Seriously it's fine with me. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. I want you to feel loved.

And just seeing people entering your life or have already been there making you so happy, I'm happy. Because it shows people cares for you.

But that also means you have them to make you happy. And then, that makes me sad.

Haha perhaps I'm a super weird girl and people will just find it super hard to understand and care. You know what, nevermind, forget everything that's said here. And just live like how we used to in the past. Cause I loved the great memories we had. ;')

All in all, I love you.